Excerpt from my personal journal:
“I am putting the memoir on hold for now. I need a project to pour my soul into and that isn’t the right one. I’m too stuck on what actually happened. I need to write something else – something that I’m so in love with that I’m distracted from my real life. Being productive while escaping. This is my ideal scenario.
But what project? Politics makes sense, but how do I make it interesting? I don’t know how to write suspense, which is usually the genre a political title would fall under. Romance? Dull. How do I make it interesting and relevant and relatable? Ha, I’m not asking for much, am I?
I’m obviously just overthinking this. I should just begin. Like they all say: “Just sit down and start writing.”
I spend too much time thinking about me. I mean, thinking about my behavior or my feelings or my demons. I obsess because… well, I’m not sure. I need to start thinking about completely external things that are not at all associated with my personal life.
Well, that’s why the politics theme makes so much sense to me. It’s a recent interest (only 9 months old or less) so it doesn’t hurt when I think about it. It makes me excited and interested. The primary downside is that I know much less about politics than love so I have to put in time for research.
And the problem with researching has two parts: 1) I’m fucking lazy and 2) Where do I even start? I guess I have to ask myself more specific questions: What do I want to learn? What do I want to write about?
I never understood the brainstorming step in the writing process while I was in school. It never seemed to work for me. But that’s because I was focused on answers, not the questions. My mind would automatically skip that step and that was my mistake. Because figuring out those questions – the right ones – is way more difficult than filling in the answers. That part seems to be guided by instinct anyway.
Now, I have to brainstorm. I’ll know when the right story comes to me. I just have to keep writing and asking questions until I find it.”